A witty pun about a sailing trip has been crowned the funniest joke told at this year’s Edinburgh Festival Fringe.
Thousands of performers flock to Scotland’s capital each year to entertain and delight crowds at the Fringe.
British entertainment channel U&Dave, owned by British broadcaster UKTV, has handed out the “Funniest Joke of the Fringe Award” for the last 15 years, according to a UKTV news release on Monday.
Despite vast competition, comedian Mark Simmons won with his gag: “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.”
A panel that included leading UK comedy critics and comedians attended hundreds of shows across the festival and submitted their 10 top gags.
A shortlist of jokes that were anonymized was then presented to 2,000 members of the British public to vote on the one that evoked the most laughter.
“I’m really chuffed to win U&Dave’s Funniest Joke of the Fringe,” Simmons said in the release. “I needed some good news as I was just fired from my job marking exam papers, can’t understand it, I always gave 110%.”
Simmons became a comedian after his friend convinced him to do an open-mic night, and he began performing solo at the Edinburgh Fringe in 2014, according to the release.
This is the first time he has won the top joke prize, with his humorous one-liner being taken from his PHB’s Free Fringe show at Liquid Room Annexe.
The runner-up was this joke by comedian Alec Snook: “I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward… two steps back.”
Hosted in Scotland’s capital annually, the Fringe is the world’s largest arts festival.
Gags that made the top 10:
1. “I was going to sail around the globe in the world’s smallest ship but I bottled it.” Mark Simmons
2. “I’ve been taking salsa lessons for months, but I just don’t feel like I’m progressing. It’s just one step forward… two steps back.” Alec Snook
3. “Ate horse at a restaurant once – wasn’t great. Starter was all right but the mane was dreadful.” Alex Kitson
4. “I sailed through my driving test. That’s why I failed it.” Arthur Smith
5. “I love the Olympics. My friend and I invented a new type of relay baton: well, he came up with the idea, I ran with it.” Mark Simmons
6. “My dad used to say to me ‘Pints, gallons, liters’ – which, I think, speaks volumes.” Olaf Falafel
7. “British etiquette is confusing. Why is it highbrow to look at boobs in an art gallery but lowbrow when I get them out in Spoons?” Chelsea Birkby
8. “I wanted to know which came first the chicken or the egg so I bought a chicken and then I bought an egg and I think I’ve cracked it.” Masai Graham
9. “My partner told me that she’d never seen the film Gaslight. I told her that she definitely had.” Zoë Coombs Marr
10. “The conspiracy theory about the moon being made of cheese was started by the hallouminati.” Olaf Falafel
